I Can't Complain

2014 has been a good to me just like the past few years, God gives me enough and enough is all I need. I am content.
He gives me little miracles each day and for that I am forever grateful. I try every day to be and do good and I feel like everyday I fail a little, sometimes I fail big time but God has been good to us, I can not complain.
Just thankful.

Only Lovers Left Alive

Why didn't I watch this movie any sooner? I kept putting it off when all I wanted was to watch it the  moment I knew it existed.

It's a villainless, actionless, delightful movie. Vampires from the old world living in the 21st century, they don't kill people to live, they get their blood from hospitals. They're very cautious because blood these days could be contaminated. Adam (Tom Hiddleston) and Eve (Tilda Swinton) are husband and wife but they live apart. He lives in Detroit and she lives in Tangier, though they are apart the connection is always there. I didn't get why they had to live away from each other. Eve uses her Apple (iPhone) to communicate with Adam and Adam makes use of old equipment and connects them together to talk to Eve. He has electricity using his Tesla-like skills. He made an underground power supply. I guess one can do that if you have plenty of time in your hands.


They talk about the arts, vintage guitars and Physics. I have no better way to describe the film but delightful and funny. The best vampire love story I've seen. Enough of that, this is not a movie review, I can not write a movie review even if I wanted to.

The Woodstock of Tennis!

Never in a million years did I dream that I'll have chance to see my favorite tennis players in real life but it happened. For real! I don't know if I'll be calling it a dream come true because I never dreamed that I'd see them all playing in a court simply because I live in a third world country, why would they come here. So instead I'd be calling it a blessing from above.  :)

My friend and I had a 3-day pass starting from November 28 to November 30. Now, where do I start? It all happened so fast. The last thing I remember was I was working and then I got a message from Lynette, my friend, that she has tickets for the both of us to watch the IPTL tour and then I took a bath, oh, I think I should mention that I was working from home that day, then off I went to MOA arena. We got the surprise of our lives when we realized that we were holding VIP tickets! How I got the ticket was another story that deserves a separate blog entry. But like I said, it was a blessing from above. Good thing I had pictures, crappy pictures taken from my phone I might add, but nevertheless proof that I was there and watched the whole thing.

I don't normally like to have my picture taken in front of people but I needed proof that it was not a dream.

My friend and I thought that we'd pass out, we were screaming and hyperventilating. We'd look at each other quietly and then scream again. I even forgot how to count scores! I was so excited. Had Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer been there my bucket list would've been complete. It's a good thing Jo-Wilfried Tsonga kept us "company", he's really, really handsome. I was looking at him all the time.

Gael Monfils kept us entertained, he was funny and a real good dancer, it looked like he was truly enjoying the exhibit, must have been refreshing to just play tennis and not worry about your world ranking.

I wish I could say something great about Andy Murray but watching him play was very frustrating and disappointing. I mean he was the main man of Manila Mavericks but he just couldn't win. He  kept on losing. We were shouting our lungs out, praying silently he'd win, when a ball hit someone to my right that made us shut up for a while. It could've been us? And then we were picking on Andy again. I shouted "Andy, win this and I'll be your fan forever!" That's how sure I was he'd lose but then he found his rhythm and won on the last day, on the last game.

What did I do? Oh my gosh!

I Saw Jason Mraz!

For years I've been trying to watch Jason Mraz in concert, he's been here in Manila thrice and each time I failed...because of work. I had a very demanding job to say the least. I spent six years of my life in a company that worshipped money. Money before family. Work life balance is a strange word to them, I mean they acknowledge it but they don't...anyway, back to Jason, needless to say, I changed company so I was able to watch him live, with my daughter. We're both fans and I'm so glad I took her with me.

Jason was very funny and very sincere. I can tell that he truly practices what he preaches. He does his share to save the environment and uses his popularity to spread the word. He's very generous too, I've been to a lot of concerts and all of those concerts seemed too short. Jason's was a different story, he had two sets and if I remember it right I think he sang more that 14 songs! He sang almost all of the songs that I love and meant something to me. I truly enjoyed the Song for a Friend and Geek in the Pink mash up.

It was a school night but I took my daughter anyway because I know that someday when I'm old and grey we'll look back and find that the night we spent with Mr A to Z will be one of the best nights of our lives...November 27, 2014.

Of Hearts and Heartbreaks

Seems like my life this past few months are made up of little heartbreaks. I get cracked a little each day, it's a miracle I'm still in one piece. Oh yes, I have a lot of those I just don't choose to write about it because I don't want them included in my life, I want to forget about them, only those that I care a lot about deserves to be included in my blog, in my life.


I'm not the best person but I try to be. I try to be a good person. I'm not the best mother in the world, I have shortcomings, I'm not always there when my kids need me, I admit it. But I try to make it up. I am flawed, not perfect, I want to be the best mother for them but I can only do so much.


My son failed 3 subjects, I went to his school yesterday to claim his report card. I asked if he had problems, with his teacher, classmates...he said no. I think he just gave up. And he won't talk about it. I'm trying not to lose my patience but I think I'm about to give up too. He is so like me, not much of a talker. It's so frustrating.


Anyway, my son made a cutout heart for me when he was around five years old. Thought I post it here. This was back when we used to talked endlessly about dinosaurs and tigers.

Make it easy

I've got to get this out of my chest, I'm hormonal right now so I'll check back next week to see if what I'm feeling now has legs.


First, I feel like I will be left all alone sooner than I expected. Okay, let me explain, I feel like my friend is trying hard to keep me in his life but... Here's the deal, we've been friends longer than anyone in the office so I feel like he shouldn't struggle if he had to choose between me and other people. It should be easy an enough decision. But that is not happening, he's struggling. It's hard work for him, when it shouldn't be, at least in my mind. Unless, he doesn't me around anymore.


And that is why I am hurt.


I might have 3 choices here:

a) Avoid him and let him be with his new friend.

b) Tell him to make a choice already so I won't have to expect. 

c) Just ignore what's happening (which i can't)


Decision, decision.

Tired

This has been an exhausting week. I can't even begin when and where to start. Some day, maybe.

Are We Friends?

You know I'm loyal to you. You know that because I told you so. Now, the question is, are you loyal to me? I have this nagging feeling that you're playing me. I tried to brush it aside, I tried burying that thought but it never goes away. It keeps coming back.  

It's time to know.

Lazy Chair

This should be added to my collection of men... sitting.

Back To You

Okay, this deserves to be posted.

When I saw him smoking a cigarette (with Linda!!!) last week I swear I didn't love him anymore. Ha ha! So gradeschool, I know. 

I'm posting this now so I guess it goes without saying that he's forgiven and I love him again. 

Of Lunch and Dissapointment

I am in no position to demand that you be here for lunch as a matter of fact I am very grateful that you take time to be with me on my break but I get really disappointed when you text that you can't come. Truth be told, I feel lost and abandoned without you. Sigh. 


At some point I know I should back away.

Massive Attack

No, this is not about the Canadian lone wolf (?) terrorist attack. 

Right. Massive headache. People talking. No way out. Deadly combination, I know. Makes one think of things... and that's big deal considering that I don't think of hurting people no matter how hard they hurt me. I guess I'm writing this to exonerate myself from the eventual murder that I am about to commit.  

Marooned No More

What the hell! All of a sudden I'm loving Maroon 5 again. A couple of years ago I kind of got tired of then so I deleted all M5 songs on my itunes, then probably a year after that decision I decided that I love them again, and then I forgot about them...until now. 

Okay, two words, Lost Stars. 

When I first listened to the song I thought it was okay and then the falsetto part came, that blew me away! I know it's not that big a deal but it blew me just the same. I like guys who can pull off a wicked falsetto, e.g. Chris Martin, Brandon Flowers, that guy from The Darkness, Bono, etc. Lost Stars made me realize why I fell in love with M5 in the first place. Adam's girly voice. And I say that with nothing but admiration.

Not Right

Do you know that feeling that something is not right and you just can't prove it yet? My gut is telling me that. 

Something is not right. 

I feel like I'm being led to believe that nothing's changed but really there is. It's happening gradually so I don't feel it much like the earth moving, you don't feel it moving but you see the change. 

For one, we don't talk like we used to. We don't laugh like we used to. Oh yes, this is about my friend again. So here's what I fear the most: I'm afraid that he has lost his interest in me because he's found another to hang out with. Either that or he thinks I'm (oh my gosh!) boring. There I said it. I'm about to cry now. The worst part is I don't have anyone left, i have lots of friends but he's my closest friend, I don't want anyone else. (To be fair, he's not the type who shows his emotions, well, he shows frustrations and anger sometimes but other than that he's good at hiding his feelings. )

I'm trying to build my defenses, most times I act like everything's cool, I'm fine on my own, appearing strong when I'm at my weakest, laughing at jokes, that kind of shit. I even went out last night with my other friends, I will need support when he finally decides to get rid of me, got to be ready. But then we started to talk, blah, I tried to connect with them but it didn't happen, I hope they didn't notice. Sad, I know.

Big change is going to happen, I can feel it and I will end up, well, crying. 

I need someone to talk to right now. He's my go-to friend, he listens to my shit. Wow! I am in real trouble, I have no one.

Picking Up The Pieces

So we had lunch and we talked. 

It was serious, I felt the gravity of our situation the moment we left the office. It felt like a make or break moment for us. It's all or nothing. Tell everything or  lose everything. 

Turns out it wasn't just me with pent-up feelings, I mean, things were said and some of it were misunderstood because nobody bothered to ask. It went on for weeks, we pretended everything was okay but deep inside we were hurting. Wait, I can only speak for me, I was hurting, which led to over-thinking, which led to depression. I've had it before so I know. I can't explain how I know it but the best explanation I can give you is that it feels like there's a dark cloud following me and no matter what I do the sun's ray is unable to reach me. I felt dark and gloomy.

It was the first time we talked/fought seriously, we used to fight before like yelling at each other and we've even gone through a week without talking to each other but somehow I knew in my heart that we'd still be friends again. We just got to ride it out like a storm. 

It definitely didn't feel that way today so I was worried that I'd lose a friend.

He admitted his mistake, he was sorry he said. I believed him. I explained to him why I was behaving oddly, he understood. We agreed that we should always ask if anything is unclear and he made me promise that I go tell him right away if something isn't right. 

Everything seems better now. 

Old Friend

Looks like you and I are back together again. Come to think of it, you are the only friend that's always been there for me. You've never let me down, ever. So here's to us. I'd be living inside my head yet again. Needless to say you'd be hearing from more me from now on. Here's why:

I think I just lost a friend. I never thought it'd be as painful as this. This feels similar to a breakup between lovers. More painful even. I am very committed to my friend, I've always felt secure that he felt the same way about me but I am not sure anymore. It's breaking my heart. 

What he said to me last week just killed me not to mention the way he's been treating me lately. What's happening? He's slipping away from me and I can't do anything. I wish we could talk. 

I'm not very fond of people so it's not a surprise that I only keep a few friends in my life. Not a very good idea. 

Over Oberyn

Okay this seems a bit late but I am still mending a broken over Oberyn's death. I still couldn't get enough of him. 

Funny how I hated him the first time he appeared in GoT. But as I got to know him episode after episode I found myself falling for him, deeper and deeper. 

It all started when he had his talk with Tyrion, about the first time they met and how Cersei treated treated Tyrion when he was a baby. But my gosh! My heart melted and fell in love with him big time when he volunteered to be Tyrion's champion. 

Why do you have to die? Why didn't you stop talking and finish that mountain (no pun intended) of a man first?

You broke my heart.

Starting with Ben

Two hours. I have the house all to myself every Sunday. Two hours, I love it. I can start writing again. Why didn't I think of doing this before?

Anyway, I just finished watching Walter Mitty, well, I've watched the first half of it a few weeks ago then I decided to stop because it was boring me, but today i decided to finish the movie because i wanted to like Ben Stiller again.


I recently watched him on Running Wild with Bear Grylles; and i thought to myself that he's a nasty man. Why did he ever sign up to participate in that show? I'm pretty sure he had at least an idea on what he was signing up for so why did he even bother?

He was mean and sarcastic the whole time. It was obvious that he'd rather be anywhere but there, spoiled city boy, he was. I was very disappointed, i was expecting he'd be hilarious and funny. So after watching it I decided that i don't like him anymore. I watched Walter Mitty today to say goodbye to Ben. But I can't. I still think he's funny. I'd still watch his movies. Why? Probably because I'm not a super fan of his, I am not emotionally attached to him so I decided that I don't care if he's not a really nice person in real life. Maybe he didn't like to participate in that show, maybe his agent made him do it, maybe he has issues in his life that time. Maybe...

I will make it a point to be understanding to people from now on and I decided to start it with Ben.

Need for Speed

It's full of cliches, hot girl in love with an asshole who used to be the protagonist's girlfriend, business not doing well, antagonist offering an opportunity which will help out with the business, an accident, an innocent died, the protagonist went to jail taking the rap...it never stops but you know what? I like it!

I rather enjoyed the race, the fast car, i wanna be the blonde girl! 

Aaron Paul's acting is believable, made me want to binge watch Breaking Bad again.

Anyway, imogen Poots, I'm still undecided, is she pretty or not? Doesn't matter, I guess, I like her.

Becoming Romeo

I am getting concerned about me, I think I am becoming my father more and more each passing day. And I hated being around him when I was growing up--he was always grumpy and he didn't seem to enjoy being around people. 

I'm a bit like that, I lived inside my head, I didn't like being around people. That was the normal me but now I feel myself being withdrawn more and not making an effort to socialize. Even in the office, I'd rather be alone that spend my break with people I don't like. He was like that, he'd rather not talk than engage to a stupid conversation.

My father didn't like to talk much he'd rather read, he had tons of books, those were his friends. And Robert Ludlum was his best friend. 

Could it be true? People say that as we grow old we become our parents. 

I'm scared.

Happy New Sherlock...

but not for me. Sherlock won't be knocking at my door, I will have to wait for the official air date, no news yet! For the UK and the rest of the lucky countries...Happy New Sherlock!