Monday, July 30, 2007

I knew it was a mistake when I decided to go with my mother to attend a
cousin’s birthday yesterday. But I was angry, I wasn’t thinking right
when I made the decision. I had a little outburst that morning, I wanted to get away, I wanted to escape…Fifteen minutes later, halfway to Balingasa, it’s where they live, I wanted to turn around and head straight to Glorietta, sobrang layo ng Monumento, grabe!
But it will break my mother’s heart leaving her just like that so I
stayed. When we got there my Aunt was surprised to see me. Shocked even. I guess she knew me all too well, “Ano ginagawa mo dito? Di ka naman umaattend sa mga ganito ah.” To which I replied, “Oo nga eh, naiinis kasi ako sa bahay eh.” My aunt’s kids are inside the house, I managed to smile at them, to be honest, I don’t even remember talking to them for more than 5 minutes, that’s all I did, smile and try to get as far away as soon as possible.
I didn’t know what to do but I sure didn’t want to socialize so I did what I did best, sit in one corner and find something to read. My mother sat with me, I felt relieved but it only lasted for a few minutes, before I could start a conversation with her she sprung up and
went upstairs, she wanted to see how a gargantuan television worth P185,000 or is it P85,000 looked like. I wanted to tail along with her but… little girl ba ako? I found books and gossip magazines, they ought to keep me company, I though to myself. When guests started to arrive that’s when it hit me, “What have I gotten myself into?” I pretended I was totally enjoying reading the gossip magazines I didn’t even notice them, that’s how bad
my social skills are, They all looked familiar but I’m sure I have not talked to them ever. Anyway, my strategy was working, nobody approached me, ikaw na ang magbasa ng nakasimangot, tingnan mo kung lapitan ka pa. Everything was okay, at least for me, until my sister arrived with her new boyfriend, everyone greeted them an in-law even said that my sister
looked like Gian or Guia from Pinoy Big Brother, who the heck is Gian?
I really need to watch local shows para naman maka-relate ako kahit paano paminsan-minsan,
and I have been watching believe it or not, a new friend of mine recommended two shows, one is Jumong, it’s based on real events of Korean history daw but they’ve thrown in a little love story to make it a little more interesting but I couldn’t catch up, sa DVD na lang siguro. And then there’s this game show at around 1 in the morning, to be honest I rather enjoyed watching it, the host was funny,witty and most of all ka-birthday ko pa muntik na akong sumali sa totoo lang pero anti-social nga ako, di ba? Anyway, pinagkaguluhan ang boyfriend ng sister ko, he’s Chinese so they all felt connected to him, if you don’t know yet, my mom’s Chinese eh di syempre Chinese din mga kapatid nya, hehe… I think I tried to smile and looked friendly pero feeling ko fake pa din eh, I had no choice tapos ko nang basahin lahat ng magazines alangan naman basahin ko pati books, mabibitin lang ako. And then a bright idea came to mind, I started texting almost everyone I knew, hoping they would text back to keep me busy, some did yun iba suplado’t mga suplada, hmpf! Then my aunt approached me and whispered "He's hardworking." "Are you serious?" I said, "You talked to hi for, like, 3 minutes and yu could tell that the man is hardworking?" "Yes," she said firmly, "he held my hand and it was rough, it means that he's hardworking." "Ganun?"
My mother said the guy loked like a "ponga" whatever that means, I'm not
sure about it but in fairness to the guy, he's kinda cute pero medyo
chubby eh and ... I could be wrong, I hope I'm wrong but I smell
"paminta" all over him. His shirt just didn't look right... tama na nga baka mabasa pa ng sister ko ito!
I better wait and see. The new boyfriend came and brought along old issues about my sister, my mother and I couldn't help but feel worried about my litte-devil of a niece. I worry about her and my mother. It's so frustrating, I was fuming mad inside the the boyfriend's car on our way home. I can't write it, it's too personal. Ask me na lang. Hahaha!!!
I think I learned my lesson well, I'll never make a last minute decision when I'm angry. I came with my mother to escape from my frustrations and I ended up feeling doubly frustrated.