Something is not right.
I feel like I'm being led to believe that nothing's changed but really there is. It's happening gradually so I don't feel it much like the earth moving, you don't feel it moving but you see the change.
For one, we don't talk like we used to. We don't laugh like we used to. Oh yes, this is about my friend again. So here's what I fear the most: I'm afraid that he has lost his interest in me because he's found another to hang out with. Either that or he thinks I'm (oh my gosh!) boring. There I said it. I'm about to cry now. The worst part is I don't have anyone left, i have lots of friends but he's my closest friend, I don't want anyone else. (To be fair, he's not the type who shows his emotions, well, he shows frustrations and anger sometimes but other than that he's good at hiding his feelings. )
I'm trying to build my defenses, most times I act like everything's cool, I'm fine on my own, appearing strong when I'm at my weakest, laughing at jokes, that kind of shit. I even went out last night with my other friends, I will need support when he finally decides to get rid of me, got to be ready. But then we started to talk, blah, I tried to connect with them but it didn't happen, I hope they didn't notice. Sad, I know.
Big change is going to happen, I can feel it and I will end up, well, crying.
I need someone to talk to right now. He's my go-to friend, he listens to my shit. Wow! I am in real trouble, I have no one.
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