First day, last day?

It was Wednesday, August 16, 2006, my first day of work in my new office in Makati. I was rather calm, it’s a feeling that kind if surprised me because normally, I get really, really nervous on my first day. Actually, I always get nervous on every first time of everything I do. I’m a bad first-timer but after a few tries, I’d be okay.

So, here’s how my first day went:

8:25 a.m. – I arrived. The official office hour starts at 8:30. It’s my first day, I figured I should make a good first impression. I was asked to sit and wait at the reception area. That’s what I did… forever... or at least it felt like it.

8:50 a.m. – Still sitting, wishing and waiting (come on, sing with me…)

9:05 a.m. – Everyone was walking past me, they all seemed busy. Then, at last! somebody approached me but to my disappointment, she asked me to sit around a while longer.

9:15 a.m. – I can hear my name, they’re talking about me, I was just a few feet away, I can’t see them because there was an aluminum and glass divider between me and them. I wasn’t sure if I was just being extra sensitive that day or if it was really irritating to hear people talking about me when they knew full well that I was just an earshot away. I wanted to yell, “Hello, I can hear you, I’m only here, remember?” After a few minutes, their topic began to change, I think somebody’s gonna leave the company and look for the proverbial greener pasture on the other side of the fence. That must be the reason they hired me, to replace her.

At around 10 a.m., they led me to my working area and the computer that will serve as my partner, a 12-inch-aquamarine imac from way back 1999, I think. "They’ve got to be kidding me!" I thought to myself. I wasn’t impressed at all. The computer was a major turn-off, but let's talk about the working area, shall we? Try to imagine an area of 6 x 6 feet more or less, not to small, you might think, then add three antiquated Macintosh computers and a PC that didn’t seem to be working anymore, a printer, three swivel chairs, a small elongated table in one corner plus three people, including me, all squeezed in that area. So horrible. We have no privacy, every time I move I bump to the person either on the left or right side of me. Then I learned that they don’t allow internet connection for us, artist. My gosh! How on earth will I ever survive? And worse of all they don’t allow their employees to go home early, as long as the bosses are around, nobody leaves. What about my kids? Why do I always end up with mean, psycho and greedy bosses? Why?

Anyway, I didn’t show up the next day, it was Thursday, because I needed to think things over. The following day, I showed up, I was determined to try and make things work, the day went well but really, I don’t want to work for them. I have a life to live, I can't stay in the office all day and night.
My mind’s telling me to go on, who doesn't need work and money, anyway? But my heart wanted me to get out of there...