Coming Out

I know I have been very shady about my real condition and part of the reason I guess is because I was not ready to accept my situation... I have hopes that certain miracles will happen to me and I will be healed ...miraculously, of course. It didn't happen.

I have endometriosis, if you google it, like I did, it will tell you that it is a gynecological medical condition and has various of symptoms. It varies from person to person. I can only tell you what I've gone through.

For years, wait, that can't be right... as far as I can remember I've always had painful menstruation, I've had cramps, back pain, acid reflux and migraines three to four days a month. It was my normal. But last March of this year the pain was so severe not even my friend Mefenamic Acid was able to help alleviate the pain so I went to the doctor. I was told to get an ultrasound so I did and the result was I have endometriosis scattered in my guts and cysts on both of my ovaries. I was advised to go under the knife immediately because the cyst on my left ovary was quite big... 4.8 cm big. It might rupture.

Should be easy to decide on, right?  But no, I waited until October to get the much needed operation because of one petty reason. The thing is at the time it wasn't so petty. I didn;t want to get the operation because of my work. I was training somebody at the time and I didn't want to leave the person, of course I can always turn him over to one of my co-workers but I didn't want to burden her... I could probably tell you a hundred reasons right now but in hindsight it was all bullocks. Work should never come ahead of health. At the end of the day family will take care of you, not your friends or co-workers. I really get it now.

I prayed to God for a miracle, I prayed hard to keep me from the operation. He let me down, that's what I thought for quite awhile, maybe it wasn't meant to be I told myself. But really I should be thanking Him, sure the operation my painful but also I was able to take a break from the office for 60 days. 60 whole days with my family. A lot of holidays spent together even if we're just sitting around and watching TV.

God is keeping me on track, he wanted me to see what's important but it's hidden at first, I'm glad I found it.