Of Hearts and Heartbreaks

Seems like my life this past few months are made up of little heartbreaks. I get cracked a little each day, it's a miracle I'm still in one piece. Oh yes, I have a lot of those I just don't choose to write about it because I don't want them included in my life, I want to forget about them, only those that I care a lot about deserves to be included in my blog, in my life.


I'm not the best person but I try to be. I try to be a good person. I'm not the best mother in the world, I have shortcomings, I'm not always there when my kids need me, I admit it. But I try to make it up. I am flawed, not perfect, I want to be the best mother for them but I can only do so much.


My son failed 3 subjects, I went to his school yesterday to claim his report card. I asked if he had problems, with his teacher, classmates...he said no. I think he just gave up. And he won't talk about it. I'm trying not to lose my patience but I think I'm about to give up too. He is so like me, not much of a talker. It's so frustrating.


Anyway, my son made a cutout heart for me when he was around five years old. Thought I post it here. This was back when we used to talked endlessly about dinosaurs and tigers.

Make it easy

I've got to get this out of my chest, I'm hormonal right now so I'll check back next week to see if what I'm feeling now has legs.


First, I feel like I will be left all alone sooner than I expected. Okay, let me explain, I feel like my friend is trying hard to keep me in his life but... Here's the deal, we've been friends longer than anyone in the office so I feel like he shouldn't struggle if he had to choose between me and other people. It should be easy an enough decision. But that is not happening, he's struggling. It's hard work for him, when it shouldn't be, at least in my mind. Unless, he doesn't me around anymore.


And that is why I am hurt.


I might have 3 choices here:

a) Avoid him and let him be with his new friend.

b) Tell him to make a choice already so I won't have to expect. 

c) Just ignore what's happening (which i can't)


Decision, decision.

Tired

This has been an exhausting week. I can't even begin when and where to start. Some day, maybe.

Are We Friends?

You know I'm loyal to you. You know that because I told you so. Now, the question is, are you loyal to me? I have this nagging feeling that you're playing me. I tried to brush it aside, I tried burying that thought but it never goes away. It keeps coming back.  

It's time to know.

Lazy Chair

This should be added to my collection of men... sitting.